I read this quote off of a sign in Jimmy John’s. After reading it my heart seemed heavy as I began to think of my loved ones whom I lost too soon; Uncle Carl in ‘02, my younger brother Jearld in ‘03, my father in ’11, and my grand-mother ‘12.
In my human mind as a niece, sister, daughter, and grand-daughter, I was angry and hurt. I felt cheated of time. The thought of their physical presence absent from my tomorrows hurt beyond measure. Yes I had memories but I wanted them… to see their faces, to hear their laughter, and to simply have them here to experience more life with.
As a child of God who understands He makes no mistakes am thankful for their presence in my life and for the years we shared. As I began to thank God with tears streaming down my face for the lessons learned and wisdom shared with my loved ones, it was then I felt abundantly blessed. As I hurt for my losses but focused on all I was given while they were here, gave me a sense of peace and comfort. I realized all my tomorrows would be filled with each of them because so much of who I am and what I am has been shaped by their love.
Each person departed my life as I transitioned into a new phase in my life. I look back now and I say, “Thank you Uncle Carl for helping me to choose me and my happiness. Jearld, thank you for teaching me to love unconditionally and learn so much about myself. Dad, what can I say? I loved you simply because of who you were to me. Grandma, your wisdom, your love, and your nurturing will follow me for the rest of my life. Thank you for love, life and laughter.”
“I believe that the people you care about the most are taken away from you when they’ve served their purpose in your life. I am thankful for the experience.” ~Bnasha
This is a quote that comes to mind as I think of God’s grace and mercy.
Without a doubt I still cry, my heart still pains at their absence, but when I’m done… I am able to reminisce in laughter and heartfelt memories that will forever guide me.
~Nikki, I thank you for your patience, support, comfort, and love. Again, God placed us together under one roof at the perfect time. You’ve been there from ’02 until now and I am grateful for your understanding, strength and love. I appreciate you more than you know. ~
©BNasha March, 2012
Brandy as I read this blog I think about my Mother that I lost in July of 1999, My Father in Feb of 2008 and my wonderful Aunts and Uncles in between. Those people that loved me, raised me and although they didnt always understand me, they never forced me to be someone I wasnt just to make them more comfortable. I love this blog. My Wife Rustyna (of 15yrs) has been my support system through it all. An incredible woman and a loving and extraordinary friend. Losing the ones that I love was so hurtful at the time (especially my Mom & Dad) but being a child of God myself, God blessed me and allowed me to eventually understand that he loved them more than me. That their pain and suffering was even to much for him to bare...and it was time for his children to come home. Brandy we serve a good God, a loving God, a merciful God. I thank him for blessing me witha peace that has truly surpassed all understanding and I thank you and Nikki for this blog.
ReplyDelete~Blessing in Abundance...
Kelly